Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann

Mine is a review that will pierce the sky!

Now this is what I'm talking about. Mechs, manliness and enough explosions to keep the simple part of my brain happy. Cleavage too. That's always good. One thing that has always put me off animé and manga is that the characters spend all their time talking. Fights degenerate into finding out who has the most tragic back-story. I'm still trying to decide if Naruto is about ninjas or an elaborate role-playing support group. Its nice to see a series that knows when its time to talk and when its time to fight. But I digress.

How the hell did we get here?

  Gurren Lagann is the story of Simon, pronounced See-mon, and his “bro” Kamina. Humanity is forced to live in underground villages with anyone escaping to the surface killed by the Beastmen. Beastmen are Humanoids who pilot mechs called Ganmen. Ganmen are effectively faces with arms and legs. Its silly at first but you get used to it. One day Simon comes across a key shaped like a drill and a miniature Ganmen which Kamina names Lagann. Soon after a Ganman crashes through the underground village's ceiling followed by a young women named Yoko. Simon and Kamina help Yoko defeat the Ganman and escape to the surface. Joining forces with Yoko, and with Kamina hi-jacking a Ganman of his own, the trio set off to find a way to defeat the Beastmen.
  Kamina is easily the fan favourite of the series. Constantly giving passionate and often hard to understand speeches along with his self belief and assurances that he is the greatest since he is the epitome of manliness and fighting spirit. You can't help but smile when he shouts his battle cry of “Who the hell do you think I am?” I've only seen the subtitled Japanese version so can't say anything about the English dub but the Japanese voice actors are superb in my opinion. Again, Kamina's actor is the best of the bunch and he wouldn't be half as appealing if it wasn't for Katsuyuki Konishi's performance.
  Gurren Lagann is silly yet manages to be serious and dramatic when it needs to be.  But most of the time its silly. The mechs are daft, poses are pulled for finishing moves, explosions are huge and when you have a mech sitting inside another mech sitting inside another mech, you've left sense at home.

Inmechtion?

 But like I said it can be serious. When someone dies or there is a dramatic event taking place you can somehow ignore the fact several people are somehow driving one Ganman.
  As I said at the start the action comes thick and fast in this series. No talking, no planning, no charging of super attacks and only a little bit of inaction due to fear. Simon and co take the fight to the enemy in visually impressive battles.
  Now the technical stuff. The soundtrack is great for a start and the sound effects are nice and loud. The animation is very kinetic in that something is always happening or at least the camera is moving. Its easily one of the best animated series I've seen. Except episode four but a quick Wikipedia search revealed that was an intentional parody of an ongoing series drop in animation quality.
  Is there anything bad I can say about Gurren Lagann? Well its a bit short. At  twentyseven episodes it ends just as I started really getting into it. Sometimes a few lines make no sense whatsoever. What does “A man betrayed by his destiny” mean?There was a lot of characters and I couldn't remember half their names or where they even came from. It also has the pet peeve of mine that I find in animes and manga. Everyone keeps saying each others name all the god dam time! Someone enters the room and they say their name and I'm like “Yes I can see that's them for gods sake!” Its not that bad but, I'm just griping. These are all minor things really.

Its hard to find a picture with Yoko with so much clothing on

  Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann is, despite the minor niggles I have with it, a very entertaining series. If your a fan of mechs or action put this at the top of your list. Otherwise this is a series that is good fun and well worth your time. At twentyseven episodes you can bash through it in a week and what a week that will be.

The Infinite
Were heading back to the future!

Robert Kirkman is pretty much the comic industries Golden Boy right now. Everything he touches turns to goddam gold and for good reason.  He's a talented writer. But after reading the first issue of The Infinite my normally unshakeable faith in the almighty Kirkman was well and truly shaken. I sent this one down to the boys in the lab and after lots of testing and many, many deaths a conclusion was reached. It just wasn't that good. It wasn't bad. It just didn't stand up to the usual Kirkman standard. It was somewhat predictable and the characters just annoyed me. Saying a Kirkman character annoyed me is like saying you don't like chicken. It doesn't happen.
  Rob Liefeld's art style really didn't help fix anything. I read Arkham Asylum. I can handle bad writing (In Arkham's case I had no fucking clue what the hell was going on) if the art style is good or new. But this. Everything screams 80's. Look at that guys shoulder pads for christ sake! Its also hard to relate to characters that are all ripped like Azgardian gods and gritting their teeth like they are in the process of having a particularly tricky shit.

"Shouldn't have had that dam chipolte."

The Infinite starts at the end. Resistance fighters Bowen and Case are infiltrating the palace of Imperius. Imperius invented a time machine to save the world from the horrors of the future. Bowen and co have a problem with that. Needless to say the attempt to kill Imperius fails and Bowen steals Imperius's time belt to travel back in time to train a younger version of himself and Case. Sounds good but the first issue just did not impress. I grabbed issues 2 and 3 determined to give the series a proper go before I bin it. I'm glad I did. Issue 2 and 3 really pick up the slack of issue 1. Turns out I too can make wrong assumptions. Just like the Gary Glitter look a like, we also have George Michel and Brian May for your viewing pleasure, that frequents my work. Honestly that look was sex offendery long before Glitter did any sex offendering. 

I think I made a Grammar Nazi cry with that last sentence

I don't want to spoil any plot points but lets just say the next few issues really make use of the time travel aspect. Unlike a certain device from a certain series of books about a certain wizard....called Harry...Potter...he has an owl.....that is all. Argue all you want you don't add time travel unless you intend on using the balls out of it.
  In conclusion a disappointing first issue has turned into a series that shows promise. The Golden Boy triumphs again. Well played Kirkman, well played.

Its obvious that his powers come from being the son of Santa Claus

 

Holy Shit its picture book time!
Here at Hugs and Firearms tower, I like to take  a moment out of my busy day of making love to multiple women in my Vineyard to tell you about comics. I have 2 new books for you.  For now we enjoy some police brutality with Officer Downe and later on we have some time travel mind fuckery with The Infinite.


Officer Downe
Now that's a Dynamic Entry!

"Hello, badass. You ready to crush criminal cranium? Next stop----the armory. The skells and the shitheads...they're packing like a third world country. In their warped minds, they've convinced themselves they own the city. Makes me sick. But I'm here to take it all back. Fuck yeah."
Thats the narration Officer Terrance Downe says to himself as he prepares to go out and fight crime. Why? Because he is a psychopath. An immortal psychopath. Thanks to a handy combination of 100 of the worlds most powerful telekinetics and the Resurrection Equation.With it Downe can be healed of any wound, even death itself is a temporary hindrance. Which is good considering Downe's policing style is.....unconventional.

Leeroy would be proud

Downe clearly does not fuck about. LA is on its knees at the crime lords of the Fortune 500, who are animals for some strange reason, and Downe is the police's secret weapon against them. He never stops. He never compromises. He is an absolute and even death itself cannot stop him. The Fortune 500 are determined to find a way to change that.

Should be interesting

A simple yet really colorful art style rounds off this brutal tribute to every mans idea of what being a Policeman should be like. If you've every imagined punching holes in walls and gunning down criminals while screaming "I AM THE LAW!!!!" then this is for you. The plot is simple (So far) and the action is gloriously over the top, heads are punched off for god's sake. Officer Downe epitomises every man's (and perhaps women, I can't speak for them) wish to be a complete and utter badass. If this sounds like your sorta thing then I highly recommend this book.
 
 

Space Marine
Handing out murder based justice for the Emperor!

Us Warhammer 40,000 have been waiting for this day since we got into the hobby. Maybe it was when we rolled our first D6 or more likely when we swore our allegiance to Khorne the Blood God.

Blood for the blood god! Milk for the Khorne flakes!

 The day we could see in action the universe we invest so much time, effort and a stupid amount of money (seriously it takes the biscuit) into. Then Fire Warrior came along and we all went "Oh. Thats.....nice. Non-refundable? Oh that's....that's fine."
But lets crack on. For thoose who are unfamiliar with the 40,000 universe here is the quick version. Imagine that Lord of the Rings had idea sex with every Sci-Fi trope of the last 60 years all as part of a satanic ritual. Afterwords they cover her in a load of GrimDark like the dirty slut she is. Then take the baby that results from that and pump it full of steroids. That super baby is Warhammer 40,000. Torture, indoctrinated super soldiers, xenophobia, religious fundamentalism, genocide, planetary destruction and that's just the good guys!(Relatively speaking)

The Imperium manages to out Nazi the Nazi's

In this universe there is no black and white. Not even black and grey. Its all varying shades of black. Except maybe the Tau who look like an ok bunch on the outside until you find out they have concentration camps and practice mind control. Mankind does what is has to for it to survive. Too my horrible surprise I found that this had all been taken out of Space Marine. All that's left is a decent hackn'slash/shooter hybrid.
You play Captain Titus, a space marine of the Ultramarines chapter. Space Marines are 8 foot tall super warriors that make Master Chief look laughable in comparison. The barbaric alien Orks have invaded forge world whats it called and your sent in to deny them the chance to loot a Titan. A Titan is a giant bi-pedal war machine that can level entire cities. Inquisitor emo fringe turns up, something about a power device, Chaos marines appear, lots of elevators. Frankly I lost interest in the story before it even properly began. The only interesting thing in the game is that Titus is seemingly immune to the corrupting power of the warp. If you know the universe you'll know that this is sorta against the rules. The ending leaves it open so it will likely be the focus of the next game.

This guy taunted me for 4 hours before I crushed his skull with my hands. I still have no idea who he is.

Lets get the good stuff out the way so I can get back to griping. Space Marine looks the part. Its big, loud and isn't afraid to throw waves and waves of troops at you until your fighting for your life. The voice acting is good with Orks sounding like Orks, cockney Imperial Guardsmen (regular human troops) and angelic voiced Space Marines. The Space Marines are fantastic. They dam well sound like Angels of Death.  They talk like proper gentlemen with voices of honey instead of taking lessons from Marcus Fenix's gravel eating class.
  The pacing is superb, Despite the complexity of the game never reaching beyond "go here, kill that" I never got bored. New foes, weapons or situations are drip feed to you so perfectly you never notice you are doing the same thing over and over again. The health system gets my praise too. You have one bar which regenerates and another which can only be refilled by preforming execution moves on stunned enemies. However preforming this move takes time and leaves you open to attacks so you have to plan it well. The multi-player is rather good. Classes and perks are well balanced and its good fun even if there is only control points and team deathmatch.
The weapons feel powerful. Titus feels heavy. The Jump Pack makes you feel like an Angel of Death. However, it just doesn't feel like Warhammer.

Everything looks the part but its just too clear cut. "You are the good guys, here are the bad guys. Go for it." That's not how it works Relic. If they added just one scene were a Commisar executes a Guardsman for cowerdice then I would be happy. Then it would feel like Warhammer 40,000. While I'm at it why make us go Ultramarines? Fans of the series would go literally any other Chapter that isn't the fucking Ultrasmurfs! Why Cadian Guardsmen? There are a million planets in the Imperium and you choose the bloody Cadians! Why a Forge World? Anything but more god dam brown battlefields and industrial buildings. 
  The melee fighting is as basic as you can get with only 4 different combos and 3 different weapons. Poor show Relic. I think a Batman: Arkham Asylum style combat system would have been far more effective than one were you wade in and spam the attack button.
I understand Relics choice to not include a cover system but when your under attack by 30 odd Orks with machine guns and rocket launchers you'll wish they had.

Taking it like a champ is your only option.

So to conclude. We have Relics first attempt at a third person action hackn'slash/shooter. Its pretty poor to be honest and I can't even remember the story. However I played it to the end. Its not very long and the pacing makes you ignore the piss poor melee system. It doesn't even provide decent fan service by showing the grim darkness that appeals to us. The multi-player is good but it won't keep me playing for very long. Co-Op is coming as a DLC so I'll give that a look at least. One to buy if your a big fan and have spare cash.

72%
Shows promise but fails to live up to expectations.

Side Quest
Side Quest time! Haven't got anything for you today just some Warhammer funnies.

Romantically Apocalyptic
Cake = best weapon ever

Captain is pondering

 

This comic is beautiful. What? I need more? Fine. The artist Vitaly.S.Alexius has used Photoshop, live actors, greenscreen, a camera, stock photos and a Wacom table to create a bleak and desolate world almost devoid of all life and hope. Never before have I seen an apocalypse so fully realized. It would almost be depressing if it wasn't hilarious. But we'll get to that.
Romantically Apocalyptic is a triumph on its art alone. It is technically brilliant, evocative and each location tells a story. The world feels empty and that's something most post-apocalypse fiction fails at doing.

Fuck you Bay! This is how you do action not that shit that Transformers 2 was!

Remember how I said it was hilarious? Well I was wrong. Its beyond that. It made me, and I use this term with great reluctance, laugh out loud. I don't mean a giggle or two I mean a proper belly laugh. Its a clever person making a character do stupid things but with just the right level of competence to not make him annoying. We have Captain as the star of the show. Unhinged and somehow in charge, he leads our motley band. Pilot, equally unhinged yet not nearly as capable of inducing pants stealing madness as Captain is. Rounding off our merry band is Sniper AKA Mr Snippy who is the only sane one of the lot and Captains long suffering companion.
I won't say anything else since I don't want to spoil anything. Do yourself a favor and have a look. You won't regret it I promise.

http://romanticallyapocalyptic.com/1

Side Quest
Keeping with the end of the world vibe I bring you such fantastic games such as

Project Zomboid
The story of how you died. Currently in Pre-Alpha stage but has a Minecraft style pay to play as its developed style.

http://projectzomboid.com/blog/

The Dead Linger
Minecraft + Zombies + Free Form barricading = a very exciting new indie game. Another one still not in the Alpha stage but it will likely be available near the end of the year. I'll be doing a preview when (and if) it reaches that stage.
http://www.thedeadlinger.com/

One Chance
The World will end in Six days. You have one chance (Truer than you think).
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/555181

Pandemic 2
Play the role of a virus and wipe out humanity as fast as you can.
http://www.crazymonkeygames.com/Pandemic-2.html

Innistrad
Whatever happened to my Translyvania Twist?

I've really been looking forward to this block. Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies and Mad Scientists. All the tropes of Gothic Horror are here with one card rather brilliantly named Bump in the Night. Lets get the unimportant stuff out the way first. Each booster now comes with a double sided Transformation card plus another card to represent it in your deck. If your like me and don't bother with sleeves that's handy indeed. The artwork is of the usual high quality with Endless Ranks of the Dead being a personal favorite. The mad scientist cards really stand out with their Frankenstein style technology.

"Anyone got a squeaky toy?"

Lets get into the fun part of the new cards. The mechanics. 
Flashback is back. (Ha!) Pay the cost and you can play the card from your graveyard then exile it. From what I've seen the card is usually powerful and cheap with a stupid big Flashback cost. For example: Bump in the Night, 1 Black Mana to play for 3 damage to target opponent with a flashback cost of 5 Colourless and 1 Red Mana.
We have the much touted Double Sided Transformation card. Meet the condition on the card and it transforms into something more powerful.
Morbid, when a creature dies (A new phrase introduced in M12 to mean going from the battlefield into the graveyard.) you activate its effect.
Curses, a new subtype of Enchantment that affects players.
The most interesting new mechanic is Fight. An ability for a creature that makes it enter combat with another creature outside the combat phase. For this I've taken straight from the website.
For a creature to fight another creature, each deals damage equal to its power to the other. A few finer points:

• The damage is dealt simultaneously, and it is dealt by the creatures themselves, so abilities like deathtouch, lifelink, and infect will work as normal.
• Damage dealt while fighting is not combat damage, so abilities like first strike won't have any effect.
• Fighting doesn't cause the creatures to become tapped.
• Only creatures can fight.
• No more than two creatures can fight.
• If a creature somehow fights itself, it will deal damage to itself equal to its power twice simultaneously. 

 An interesting new rule which I believe will open a whole bunch of new tactics up.
So far I'm rather impressed with Innistrad. Right now a lot of the cards (That I've got so far) are hard to fit into existing decks. The cards are made to be effective with other Innistrad cards. This isn't bad but until the next set comes out for this block I feel I won't find much use for them. However, those cards make starting an Innistrad deck very tempting. Especially when Endless Ranks of the Dead, (4 Mana Enchantment that gives each upkeep X 2/2 zombies  were is X is equal to half your current Zombies rounded down) makes a Zombie deck both hilarious and effective.

Terra Nova
Dinosaurs! YAY! Family drama. Fuuuuu-

What the hell is Steven Spielberg's obsession with family all about? Taken, A.I, Jurrasic Park, Falling Skies, War of the Worlds and now Terra Nova. All feature family themes in some form or other. I've got a family Steve! It ain't all what its cracked up to be! Let it go! Look..forget it, were here for the dinosaurs.

Pictured: Better than family bullshit...also why you don't mess with dinosaurs

We begin in 2149 were the Earth is, for lack of a better word, fucked. Luck would have it that a portal is found in Chicago that leads back to the late Cretaceous period. It is explained that paradoxes won't happen since it is a different time stream which is handy since I had another plot hole kicking me in the face the entire time screaming "What about this dumb ass!?!" What happens when the thing that killed the dinosaurs comes? OK yes it isn't for another 20 odd million years but it's still going to happen. What if the people around then have forget that little detail?
The Shannon family (father Jim, his wife Elisabeth, and their three children Josh, Maddy, and Zoe) join the tenth pilgrimige of settlers to Terra Nova, becoming part of the first human colony on the other side of the temporal doorway. (Thanks Wikipedia!)
As I said before Spielberg continues his family themes Jim having escaped from jail which he was in for having a 3rd child, and his son hates him for it blah blah blah. I didn't sign up for this! I wanted to see how humanity struggles against nature at its most savage and large! I want to see how people cope with their new surroundings. Not how a teenager left his girlfriend behind and has daddy issues. Mercifully this is mixed with excitement when the Sixers turn up. Sixers are members of the 6th pilgrimige that for reasons currently unknown are trying to sabotage Terra Nova.

If dinosaurs fucking up your day wasn't bad enough

 We also get a look at some new dinosaurs created for the show when Josh and his new friends sneak out to go exploring outside the settlement. I'm sorry what? I can't believe I said that. I very much cannot believe that a bunch of teenagers, who are unarmed I will add and one who arrived THE FUCKING DAY BEFORE AND MISSED ORENTATION, would leave a protected settlement to explore when the place is filled with fucking dinosaurs! I don't care how long you've been there Skye that is a stupid idea and I was rooting for the dinosaurs to kill your stupid asses. Oh wait you did it so you could gather some of your moonshine? That makes it all better of course...

This picture cannot sum up my argument more!

I won't spoil anymore storyline. The special effects of the dinos are really impressive for a TV series but its the sets and the shots of the city that win the prize. A fantastic blend of future tech and pioneer style building. Although at some points you could see obvious use of green screen. Despite my many gripes at the characters I still watched the first two episodes and I was entertained. At least enough to put off watching Wilfred. It has action, drama and few laughs here and there. The mystery revolving around some strange carvings is what I'm coming back for. With enough plot lines started in the first two episodes to keep me interested this could become a decent series to watch and perhaps a replacement for Stargate that I've sorely been needing.
Give it a go. It might be good when it hits its stride.