Monday, 26 September 2011

DOOM
Battling my way through hell and for once I don't mean Glasgow.

Imagine this, one day I'm having a look on the Steam store until I notice something. Steam has DOOM for sale. For a fiver. It is Windows 7 compatible. Once I got back from the hospital from a nostalgia induced heart attack I promptly bought and downloaded it. I'll tell you this. It has aged very well. So for our German friends who have recently had DOOM un-banned from only being sold in adult only stores I bring you this review.
"This hand holds my gun. I need the other to carry all the fucks I don't give." - Doom guy
Back in the day DOOM was the big dog. Question is can it still go toe to toe with today's razzle dazzle, Russian shooting, Fing this, shitting that, recharging health, chainsaw bayoneting, sniper camping, l33tSparTanBlackOpsSniperDragonXtreme98, there must be an explosion every five minutes or I lose interest games of today? Oh yes, and then some. The graphics are still pleasing enough to the eye and the gibs? Oh how I missed you!
I'm I the only one getting an erection from this?
DOOM has always stood out in my mind for its Techno-Satanic style. A style that sorely needs to be used again in games (Even books or films. I'll take anything.) since there isn't nearly enough Sci-Fi Gothic horror in the world. It was also one the first games to use variable light settings which is still as effective at giving me the shits as it was back in the day.
The guns have a meaty feel to them to the point that firing the Rocket Launcher will send you back a few feet. It also features the best Shotgun in gaming history. Many a gamer's love affair with the Shotgun is because of this game. I can't remember being able to move this fast in a game. Doom guy sprints everywhere which becomes very useful when your dodging fire balls.
DOOM isn't the most complex of games so there isn't much else I can say about it. Things that where groundbreaking back in the day aren't worth mentioning now. Is DOOM a game you should try if you never have? But of course. Any self respecting gamer should at least once try out the grandaddy of shooters. You can get the first episode free as shareware about the internet. If you have played it, is it time to track it down and mow down the hordes of hell with a chaingun like days yonder? I'll let this picture sum up my argument.






 

Sunday, 25 September 2011

The Other Comic Book Quickies!
Welcome to the other comic book quickies! A name that may or may not have been stolen from the Mad Hat Pirates.....OK it was but their pirates! Stealing from them is like punching a ginger. Sure its wrong but no-one cares.
You know what screw it I don't want to get bogged in another bloody lawsuit.

Holy Shit its Picture Book Time!
We good now? Cool. Lets continue. This week Mark Grayson aka Invincible finds out that punching a problem repeatedly doesn't make it go away.

Invincible #82
Robert Kirkman
Ryan Ottley
You know Image. Out of context this is a bit weird...
Things have been pretty quiet, relatively speaking, in the Invinciverse ever since the end of the Viltrumite war what with there being no major story arc in play beyond the Super-Hero's of the Earth getting shell shocked from the destruction of Paris and Vegas and Villian's starting to get the upper hand. But in typical Kirkman fashion that doesn't mean its boring. Kirkman don't do no filler.
 Robot, or Rex as he now prefers, is back, rocking a bitchin beard I will add, along with Monster Girl and both have aged considerably with several years having passed in  the Flaxan dimension. He is offered a job by Cecil to co-ordinate the hero's of the world which he accepts. He makes a few comments about an incident that happened in the other dimension and is generally very unhappy looking but gives no specifics as to what it was. If I know Kirkman, its something bad. Dead Puppies bad.
Like this. But dead.

Dinosarus (Best. Name. Ever.) turns out to be alive and his human form turns himself in to Cecil. This leads to a rather funny conversation about what indifference is.
With Vegas turned to a giant mirror in the desert Mark is set on trying to solve problems in a way that doesn't involve punching.
Choking however....

He try's talking to Universa and it ends well. Apart from a semi-evil grin before she returns to her planet that is. On a side note where the hell is Alan the Alien? We haven't seen him for a while and that guy was all kinds of win.
We end with Cecil revealing the Re-Animen alternate dimension Invincble's (Not complicated at all.) to Mark. In the white room. This always ends well.


That's all for now from Holy Shit its Picture Book Time!
Next time we have a look at perhaps the most hardcore and violent series in the history of anything to date, The Boys.

Till next time.

Side Quest

Side Quest! Where I share stuff I've found, advertise things and tell you whats coming in the future of Hugs and Firearms.
Coming soon we have a review of Dead Island and Space Marine, a hands on with the new Magic Block Innistrad (Spelling is wrong but so what) and I present the 6 most baddass people of all time! (who are fictional)







Tuesday, 6 September 2011

Welcome to the first ever post on Hugs and Firearms! To celebrate this epoch shattering event I have given you lucky readers the chance to read a review of Mass Effect, available on the XBox 360 and PC. (Spoiler: Its pretty dam fine)

Mass Effect is the story of the player's, Commander Shepard, attempt to bring good old fashioned space justice to rouge Spectre Saren Arterius. The player does this by following leads on various planets, doing side missions, shooting bad men in the face and generally faffing about on uninhabited planets in a vehicle that out right refuses to follow the laws of physics.

Suck it Science!


Oooo shiney!
Mass Effects graphics are nothing worth phoning home about. Even at release it was nothing special with low res textures and a low variety of objects meaning you would storm the same bland identi-kit pirate base time and time again. It gets to the point after a few hours you begin avoiding missions just so you don't have to see the same crap over and over again.
Purple in a game? Oh my god its been so long!
The art style and design however is fantastic. Biowares artists have achieved a perfect blend of classic Space Operas, such as Star Wars and Star Trek, and modern styling's. It is also colourful which gets a massive "Thank fuck!" after the wave of Grey-Brown shooters that has attacked us in recent years like a swarm of shit locusts. That is until you land on an uncharted planet the majority of which are, you guessed it, Grey-Brown. Really Bioware? You couldn't do a few weird ass planets that looked like they were created during Gods Acid years?
Despite the lack of advance graphics the art style really makes up for it. Seeing Shepard's ship, the Normandy, flying towards the Citadel is a treat to the eyes and the final space battle really is a joy to watch.

A long long time ago....
The background to Mass Effect is told through small info snippets in the games codex and talking to various people. Investigating a computer or talking about a races culture unlock these snippets. These all meld together a large and well written history of the galaxy and its races which really helps capture the Space Opera vibe that Bioware was going for. In this universe most technology is based on that of the Mass Relays, ancient space stations that can fling spaceships across the galaxy in seconds built by the long dead Protheans (or so they think). There is also the Citadel. The Citadel is a massive space station that serves as the seat for the Council which is the governing body of several alien races, sort of like the UN (in space). The Council employ Spectres, agents selected from the various races, to enforce their will and maintain stability in Council space. Their top agent is our bad guy Saren Arterius, a Human hating Turian. He plans to use the synthetic Geth to find the beacon which will help him find the conduit which will allow him to bring back the Reapers, ancient machine gods that harvest the galaxy of advance life every ten thousand years.....yeah. He's also a bit of a dick. Here to put a stop to his dickishness is this guy(or gal)


I don't put out for less than a Big Mac sir! Good day!
Him and his team of hard ass girl, touchy feely man, angry dinosaur, blue alien nerd girl, gypsy alien nerd girl, crippled Seth Green and space kitty/lizard/chicken (Who is also Judge Dredd) are given the mission of stopping Saren, and stop him they shall! After mucking about in the Mako and doing lots of morally dubious side missions that is. Seriously you have to wonder what's going on in an RPG hero's head sometimes. "Yeah, evil machines hell bent on murder, whatever. I need to use my years of experience as a soldier to deliver this package!"
This being a Bioware game the characters are well fleshed out, space kitty..sorry.. Turian Garrus Vakerian being a personal favourite, voice acting is great and the story is engaging despite the plot being done to death many times before. You'll play to advance the story more than anything else. But what of the gameplay I hear you ask?

Fun times with weapons
Mass Effect's gameplay is split into three main ideas. Talking, combat and exploring.
Talking is the meat of the game here. Shepard interacts with many people on his journey to capture Saren and sadly shooting them isn't an option. Conversations are conducted using the conversation wheel. Generally the top option is nice and diplomatic, middle is neutral and the bottom one is "Get to the point or I will shoot you in the quads!". Being nice earns Paragon points while being a selfish git earns you Renegade. You also have the chance to make important choices gaining Paragon and Renegade points "Do I really want to release this alien queen of a race bent on genocide because she says she'll play nice?"
Paragon and Renegade isn't really Good and Evil, more by the book and loose cannon. Points are needed to unlock certain conversation options that allow non-violent ends to a stand off or more money as a reward for a quest and so on. It is best to stick to a certain play style to gain maximum points. Rather fantasticly Bioware has said that choices made in this game will have effects on the subsequent games! So maybe Queen genocide will repay your kindness, or kill you who knows? Shepard can also engage in a relationship with a few of his crew. Just like Captain Kirk before him/her not even the threat of extinction at the hands of a race of god like machines will stop Shepard boning their way around the galaxy.

"Soooooo....threesome?"
The gunplay is rather bland and unfair. Weapons have little impact, bullets are almost invisible and I've died more than a few times because I had no idea I was being shot! Biotic and Tech powers help mix it up but for me the combat was what I least looked forward too. Standard RPG kill and loot mechanics are in play here with a multitude of weapons and upgrades available for you stat whores. Sadly the guns only come in two different visual models. Leveling up is a standard affair with the majority of skills aimed at combat.
The exploration element of the game is at worst un-needed. It is either pop ups on the Galaxy map which basicly gives you free Xp or driving about on the bland uncharted worlds in the now infamous Mako. The Mako handles like a fridge floating on treacle. That is the only way to describe it.


Review score at the end of the universe
Mass Effect is a fantastic story with an ok game attached to it. More than once I found my self wishing the combat would end just so I could get to the next plot point. I'm critical of the combat but that's only because it doesn't live up to the standard set in the non-combat parts and feels like a drag at times. This is classic series in the making and to miss out on the first instalment would be a shame. Its only about £5 on various sites and still stocked in some stores so if you have yet to experience the Star Wars of this generation then get out there and buy it for gods sake! Clocking in at around 30-40 hours you really can't ask for more in terms of value for money. If your still unconvinced...there is side boob.

93%
A solid game with great story
but ropey gunplay.