Tuesday, 16 June 2015

[WP]A dark necromancer and a shining paladin face off for battle. Make the necromancer heroic, and the paladin villainous.

The gleaming fist of metal smashed into Amrin's jaw, making him stumble onto the table behind him. Blood dripped from his mouth. He spat and saw a tooth. Turning back, he allowed himself to laugh.
"For someone so holy and up god's arse Olanus, you're bloody quick to employ violence." he remarked, wiping the blood from his mouth.
His assailant stepped stepped out from the shadow of the room and into the light. Clad head to toe in shining steel, emphasizing his already fearsome physique. The helm covered his face, but between the holy symbols on his tabard and being a frequent victim of his right hook when he was younger, Amrin knew who it was. The knight raised an armored fist and stabbed a finger at him.
"Did you not think I would find you here, brother?" he spat.
"I was rather hoping you did" Amrin retorted, batting his hand away "Hopefully I can talk you out of this madness before you get more people killed."
"Madness? You pervert life with your vile sorcery, where I wish to save innocent people and I'm the one who is mad? You willing preform magic that is destroying you."
Amrin lowered his hood and felt his swollen jaw. He wasn't wrong. Sunken eyes, pallid skin, atrophied muscles. When you deal in death, the effects take its toll. "Yes. I re-animate the dead. But that is only flesh and bone. The souls have passed. If they haven't its my job to help them on their way. The scientific advances we have made in medicine alone will help thousands. But we respect the natural order. Life can be prolonged. But outright preventing death is obscene!"
Olanus clenched his fists. "You sound just like the Church, no wonder they asked for you."
"Is that why you went rogue? Your bosses not radical enough for your little faction?"
"They wouldn't know!" he bellowed "The things I've seen. The woman and children butchered, for the crime of living in a different land. The pilgrims and missionaries torn apart before I could help them. We are supposed to be peacekeepers, but we can't even protect ourselves. But no more. We are close to unlocking the secret to eternal life! With your expertise and research we could have a working formula in a matter of months. I can fix this world. Please."
Amrin shrugged off his cloak and placed it on the chair next to him. He wanted Olanus to see that he was armed. Not that a dagger would do much against a couple inches of heavy plate.
"And how many more must die for your Paradise?" he asked.
Olanus, took a step back. Physically hesitating.
"As many as it takes." he replied.
Amrin drew his dagger and looked directly at Olanus, perhaps he can pierce the armor with his gaze, if not his weapon. "And am I to be among the dead?" he asked solemnly.
"That depends on you" Olanus replied, drawing his sword "Will you oppose me?"
Amrin stood silently for a moment. His weapon felt pitifully small, his body weak and frail against this beast of a man. But the answer came easily.
"I think I will."

Saturday, 14 February 2015

Crossed

My sphincter has never been more clenched in fear


Hooo boy. Ennis. You. Actual. Bastard. This is honestly one of the toughest, scariest, disgusting, shocking and down right depressing reads I have ever had to do. I loved every minute. When a writer can evoke a true and completely sincere uncomfortable sensation out of me, I have to give credit. Now a word of warning, I'm about to give praise to a comic in which people are raped, killed, rapekilled and generally treated in a way that is not very nice. One of the Crossed using a  horse penis to beat people to death being a stand out method used. If you have a sudden urge to write to the Daily Mail after reading that sentence, then I suggest you stop here or your jimmies are gonna get seriously rustled.

I've been waiting SO long to use this
So. The Crossed. Sweet green jelly babies. Imagine if being a deranged serial killer with a insatiable and unrelenting passion for the utter sundering and violation of any opening present and/or subsequently created on the their victim with their penis and/or pretty much anything near by was a virus. Imagine if that virus could spread by any bodily fluid contact. Imagine it could change a person in a matter of seconds. Also they are American. Scary stuff, I know. This is our setup. Our story begins with our protagonist enjoying a quiet moment in his local diner, only to be rudely disturbed by one of the Crossed walking in, depositing an arm on the counter and biting the cooks nose off. From then on it is a downwards spiral are utter chaos ensues. The story is split in two. The main plot which follows our merry band of survivors as they trek across the US in a desperate bid too reach the snowy mountains, hoping the cold will ward off the Crossed. The other being flashbacks too the early months of the group as they get too know each other and learn about the virus.
The story, such as it is, gets too the point and is serviceable. This book is more about watching our dwindling group of survivors slowly loose what little hope and humanity they have left and providing as many situations in which to repulse you as possible. You thought The Walking Dead could get depressing? Holy shit snacks you ain't seen nothing. The only way to survive the Crossed is to run faster than the guy behind you or hide.

Pictured: The least horrific cover I could find
Now a lot of people will criticize it for being cheap and needlessly graphic. Violence for violence's sake. In a way they are right. Ennis and Burrows relish every kill as much as the Crossed. Showing every ounce of blood, torture and rape they can. Its actually quite clever in a way. Its having the same effect as it does on the characters. After a while it just kinda blends into the background. Its a book I suggest you read in one sitting, if only because the cumulative effect it has makes Stan's speech at the end much more effective.
As for the characters, well they are the weakest part. For a story that is focused on the effect of the world they live in, the group are a forgetable bunch. Lacking in any real form of real personality or traits beyond Cindy's really endearing effort to get people to stop swearing in front of her son, Patrick. People are picked off quicker than we can form an attachment too them. But again, I guess that is the point. The world of Crossed is supposed to be a hell on Earth. I gotta say, Ennis has got it straight on the bullseye on that mark. A top notch book up there with his other work The Boys with bad guys that genuinely scares the ever loving shit outa me.

So to sum up, Crossed is perhaps the most utterly terrifying apocalypse you will ever know about and perhaps the only one you never want to imagine. An excellent book if you can stomach it, one that'll immerse you in its dark hopeless world if you'll let it.

If you want a free taste, you can read what I consider the even better tale that is Crossed: Wish you where here for free!

Annnnnd breath